“The Disagree, and Then Agree Method”
Hello fellow Jerks, Sir Jerkowitz here! Today I will be talking to you about “The Disagree, and Then Agree” method, a method that forces you to win nearly ANY argument! That’s right, you read correct: ANY argument. I bet you are having micro-orgasms in your right sagittal stratum just thinking about the possibilities! You could finally counter-argue your wife, fiance, girlfriend, side-hoe– THE POSSIBILITIES ARE INFINITE!
Imagine a world where instead of a 3 hour battle between you and your wife about who left the toilet seat up, you substitute an argument that is only 10 minutes long. Tops. And that’s if your wife is a stubborn bitch.Although, at this point, you might want to consider using the “Disagree, and Then Abandon Your Marriage” method. That’s right, folks. Say good bye to all the constant arguing!
“But Sir Jerkowitz, how can I use this method that would ultimately lead to the life time of bitch-free-arguments?”
Well I’ll tell you disembodied voice, I will release my secrets to you about the “Disagree, and Then Agree” method.
I’m just fucking with you! The method is extremely simple, and only consists of 3 easy steps!
1. State your side of the argument clearly, make sure it is known how strongly you feel about your statement. This part is critical.
2. Wait for your significant other, or literally anyone, to state their side of the argument.
3.Agree with them! Use the phrase “You’re right.”
By agreeing with the person, immediately after you just stated your case, you actually let them think that they won. Of course, you know that they did not win. You used your sarcastic charm to manipulate their fragile minds into THINKING that they’ve won.
I must advise you, jerks, this may or may not just piss off the person you are trying to stop arguing with.
It will guarantee the argument to stop, however that might just mean that you are no longer given the opportunity to speak back… Because any opportunities would be filled by the other person’s yelling, caused by the fits of rage they acquired from your agreement. Yes, you heard right. They might actually get pissed off that you are telling them that they are right!
Oh the satisfaction.